


The Seeds of Confusion

by whitetiger91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Severus, Coping, Family, Family Issues, Gen, Home, Implied Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mother-Son Relationship, Small Severus, Snape family - Freeform, Snapes, implied domestic abuse, pre-marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-26 20:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17753312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitetiger91/pseuds/whitetiger91
Summary: Severus is used to his father's temper. What he's not used to is his mother's sudden coping mechanism.





	The Seeds of Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story was written for the International Wizarding School Championships—a wonderful forum I highly encourage you all to join.
> 
> School: Mahoutokoro School for Magical Learning
> 
> Theme: Charms: Confundo (confusion)
> 
> Prompts: 10). Hot and Sunny [Weather] (main prompt), 5). "You're my very own prince charming," she said. [Speech], 7). Swish and flick [Action]
> 
> Year: 4 (part-timer standing in)
> 
> Word count: 2990 words (according to Google docs)
> 
> Warnings: This story contains nothing explicit, but does allude to domestic abuse (both physical and verbal).
> 
> I sincerely apologise for this mess of a story. Whilst there's a lot going on right now in life, I genuinely have no idea what I'm doing anymore or even how to write :') I know Snape has been a focus of many stories and that his home life has often been explored, so I do hope you like this take on it. This is for all my amazing friends who just happen to favour the greasy-haired git—sorry, the misunderstood professor ;) (seriously though, jokes aside, this one is for you who have managed to keep a smile on my face through the good and bad X)
> 
> A huge thank you to Sophie (3cheersforidiots) for beta'ing :D

Severus Snape couldn't understand why the joyous laughter of other children filled the air. The sun's rays continued to beat down on him, making his dark hair feel like it was on fire and scorching his feet as he headed down the footpath. His father had refused to buy him a pair of sandals for the summer, yet had also forbidden his mother from mending the holes in his school shoes. The only good thing about his situation was that he still had another week before school began, where he would no doubt have to put up with more taunting from his Muggle peers.

Sighing, the nine-year-old ignored a group of boys kicking a can further up the street and trudged through the broken wire fence of the place he was supposed to call home. The children's laughter was pleasant compared to the yelling that greeted him as soon as he opened the peeling front door.

"You're not good for anything, you hear me? Go on, run away like you usually do!" his father yelled.

Severus' shoulders slumped as he closed the door quietly behind him. It seemed he hadn't been on a long enough walk. Usually, his parents' arguments only lasted a few hours before his mother fled to a quiet spot of the house and his father opened another bottle.

With another sigh, he waited until he heard the squeak of the couch in the small family room before sneaking towards the bedrooms.

"Mother? I'm home… Mum?"

His mother wasn't in the bedroom, though. Severus headed over to her dresser and took out a handkerchief before resuming his search of the rest of the house.

"Mum?"

He was mindful that his father could hear him, but his voice grew louder as he continued calling for her, as did the sound of his heart thudding in his chest. He couldn't hear a response, let alone any of her sobs. If it hadn't been for the fact that he'd heard his father yelling at her, he'd have assumed that he'd done more to her.

His heart slowed down as he headed outside to the small strip of dry grass not even worthy of the title of backyard. His mother was sitting hunched over near the fence edge, fiddling with the dirt. As he made his way over to her, the handkerchief at the ready, he saw that she was holding a small potted blue flower.

"Mum?" His confusion set in once again as she turned to him and smiled.

"Home already?" she asked before turning back to the pot.

With slightly trembling hands, she gently turned the flower around the pot and lifted it out with a swish. Then, flicking some of the soil from its roots, she placed it in a freshly-dug hole.

The boy tilted his head as he peered at her face, not sure why she wasn't crying. Her cheeks were slightly red compared to the rest of her pale skin and her eyes were a little bloodshot, but the way she began to hum threw him off. Where were the uncontrollable sobs? Where were the loud sniffles? Why was she so calm?

"What are you doing?" he asked.

The smile remained on her face as she turned back to him, her hand shielding her slightly damp forehead from the glaring sun. "Planting lilies. It's a nice day for it with this bright sunshine."

Severus opened his mouth to reply but closed it again as she went back to humming. He watched as she picked up another pot that held a bright yellow daisy and planted it in the patch of soil. Laughter from the children on the street echoed across the yard, and with a huff, he turned to go back inside.

Part of him wanted his mother to return to herself, to stop acting like everything was fine when it wasn't, but a larger part wished he could pretend everything was alright himself.

* * *

Severus had been wrong thinking school would be bad—it was much worse. As he walked down the footpath to his house, he cursed his father for forcing him to attend a Muggle primary school. Not only had his peers took note of the mismatched, tatty uniform he had to wear, they'd also taken to pointing out the sweat stains under his arms the relentless sun had given him. Coupled with his usual unwashed hair because of his father's stinginess over the use of hot water, his first day back hadn't involved making any new friends.

When he entered the house, he wasn't surprised to see his father laying across the couch. The man's face was ruddy and his chest was heaving up and down. Severus knew better than to think it was because his father was simply hot, and after dumping his empty bag in the kitchen, he went straight to the garden where his mother seemed to spend all her time.

He still couldn't work out why she bothered fiddling with plants and putting on a smile every time his father hurt her. She should've been sad or angry, not happy.

"I'm home," Severus said, walking over to where she was planting a few violets along the small flower bed she'd built up.

She turned to him and gave him a bright smile. "Welcome home."

He found he couldn't return it as he studied her face. She was sporting a fresh purple bruise on her cheek, the ugliness of which stood out even more in contrast to the beauty of the flowers around her. It made Severus' own cheeks burn, and he curled his fists by his side.

"It's another beautiful day today, isn't it?" she said, ignoring his frown.

"It's too hot."

"Well, I think it's perfect." She hummed as she planted another violet.

It was all too much for him, and with his fists now shaking, he burst. "I don't get it! How can you be so calm after what _he_ did?"

His mother flinched at his raised voice, but she finished patting the soil in place before sitting back on her heels and turning to him. The smile was still on her face, but Severus could see that it didn't quite reach her eyes. Still, he couldn't remember the last time she'd properly smiled and he wondered if perhaps it was a real smile.

She patted the spot next to her. He hesitated before sighing and sitting down, waiting for an explanation.

"I know that life doesn't seem all that pleasant with your father's… temper, at the moment," she began. "And I won't deny that we've had a few ups and downs lately. Your father isn't quite the prince charming I had married."

Severus snorted. He didn't know what possible ups his mother counted unless she thought the smashing of dishes was amusing.

She sighed and ran a bony hand through her dark hair before the smile returned. "Even so, I've realised there is no point to wallowing on it. I can either let it get to me, or I can spend my time productively until it gets better. By planting these flowers, I remind myself that there is still some beauty in the world."

Severus felt more confused than ever. Planting flowers couldn't possibly make their situation any better. It wasn't like his father would suddenly stop drinking or abusing them if he sniffed a daisy. His mother could probably sell a few flowers at the local Saturday markets, but she'd be lucky to get a few pennies for what she had grown. If she really wanted to do something, she would leave his father and take them both back into her family's magical world.

His frown returned and he pulled at one of the few blades of grass daring to poke its head out of the ground. His mother must've misinterpreted his reaction, however, because she quickly slung an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

She brushed his hair out of his face. "Oh, Severus, I don't mean that you aren't also a wonderful piece of my life. You're my very own prince charming," she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It's just nice to have these too."

Severus rolled his eyes, but he had to admit that her touch felt nice. He allowed her to continue brushing his long hair as he stared at the various flowers. They seemed to have already attracted a few bees, creatures that had once never bothered to stop by. He still couldn't fathom how any of the flowers could possibly make everything better, but at least his mother seemed to think it did. He found himself relaxing into his mother's soft touch, his eyes following the bees' trails from flower to flower.

After a while, his let him go. "So, how was your first day back?"

Although the sun was still shining down on them, it felt like a dark cloud had rolled over. He quickly stood up, brushing the dirt off his old uniform. Any hope that he'd felt disappeared, replaced by the reality of his situation. He turned on his heel and headed back towards the house, resisting the temptation to stomp on the stupid flowers first.

"Don't you want to help me plant?" his mother called after him.

His cheeks began to burn and his eyes stung as he stormed away. He wasn't the one who was confused—his mother was. If she wasn't, she would've known how to help them both.

* * *

"It's quite hot this evening, isn't it?"

Severus flinched at the merry tone his mother was trying to force as she served their dinner. Whilst she was simply trying to start a conversation, he knew it wouldn't be interpreted that way by everyone. Sure enough, his father's face grew red, and he narrowed his beady eyes at her.

"And that's my fault? I can't control the sun," his father spat, throwing his cutlery onto the table.

His mother paused, her pair of tongs hovering above his father's plate. She swallowed before plastering on a bright smile and placing a potato on it.

"Of course, I know that. I just meant that it's lovely for it to be so light—"

Both Severus and his mother jumped as his father slammed his fists on the table. "For God's sake, I've had enough of this nagging! You know bloody well I'm not going to waste money on air conditioning or electricity. If you want those, get your own damn job!"

Severus looked to his mother and saw that her lips were trembling. She gave him a slight nod, indicating for him to leave the table.

He quickly scampered out of his chair, thankful that his father was too busy glaring at his mother to notice. He slipped out of the kitchen and headed into the safety of the backyard just as the sound of a plate crashing to the floor came. It meant he probably wouldn't get to eat that night, but it beat incurring any more of his father's wrath.

Once outside, he surveyed the small backyard as his parents' raised voices and the sound of more plates colliding with the floor and walls echoed outside. He could easily climb over the back fence and go for a walk, but he didn't want to leave his mother behind. Still, he didn't particularly have much to do in the yard, and as his eyes roamed over the small assembly of pots yet to be planted, he sighed and walked over to them.

He still didn't believe they'd do any good, but he supposed he could help plant a few for his mother whilst she was… preoccupied. His father's yelling grew louder as he picked up a pretty red lily and tipped it upside down. It didn't seem to want to budge from the plastic pot, however, so he gave the pot a few hard taps hits. The stupid thing still wouldn't come out and he turned it back over. Gripping it by the petals, he tried to force it out from the top, scowling when it only resulted in him ripping a petal off instead.

The yelling finally subsided and the back door creaked open. Severus didn't look up as a shadow fell over him. He concentrated on turning the pot upside down again, hoping that a few more whacks would entice the flower out.

"Hold on, my charming prince," a soft voice said.

His mother's hands closed over his wrists, stopping him from destroying the plant. He grimaced at the new nickname and looked up at her, unsurprised to see her eyes still red from tears.

She knelt down next to him, taking the plant from his trembling hands. The small smile was back on her face as she nodded to the plant.

"Planting requires gentle, controlled hands," she said, twisting the plant out of the pot. "You've sort of got to wriggle it back and forth like this, almost like casting—like a swish motion. Here, try with this."

He took another plant she offered and grabbed the petals. She moved his hand down towards the stem, though, and guided it in a gentle turn. The lily popped out easily.

"Now, you need to separate the roots and remove the excess dirt," she continued, holding the first lily out to him.

Severus rolled his eyes. From inside the house, the sound of another plate being thrown came. He grabbed at the roots, tearing them apart.

"Gently now, don't let your emotions guide you. Just flick it off," his mother said.

His hands continued to tremble as he held the plant tightly in his fists. The sound of a door slamming made him squeeze it harder, but he allowed his mother to unclench his hands.

"Just swish and flick, alright?"

Severus nodded. Trying as best he could, he blocked out what was happening inside and followed his mother's instructions on another lily. He steadied his hands on the plant's long green stem and gently turned it to the side. When it popped out, he gave the plant a quick flick, removing some of the loose dirt.

"There you go."

As his mother helped him plant the lilies, he found it becoming easier and easier to block out his father. It wasn't quite enough to make a smile appear on his face, but the world did appear a little brighter than it had before. By the time the sun had begun to set and a slight breeze brought some relief from the heat, he felt a more at peace.

"That looks better now, doesn't it?" his mother asked, once again resuming her humming as she stood up.

He didn't mind it this time, finally beginning to understand what was so appealing. He walked with her back inside the house, for once paying no heed to the shatters of glass on the floor or his father sleeping on the couch. He didn't even feel too worried about going to school the next day.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?" he whispered.

"Of course, my prince charming."

* * *

The sun was still hot, but for once, he didn't mind that it caused him to sweat or that his peers had teased him relentlessly about his hygiene. He had somewhere to go that they wouldn't be, and as he headed down the path to his house, there was the smallest skip to his step.

He couldn't wait to show his mother the saplings his teacher wanted them to grow. They were only daisies, but he knew they'd look nice amongst the garden they had worked on all week together.

A strange smell like burnt toast caught his nose as he drew closer to the house. He tried to pay it no heed as he walked through the gate, even as his father came barreling out the front door with a suitcase in his hand.

"Out of my way," he said, pushing Severus aside as he stormed down the street.

Severus slowed his breathing and concentrated on the flowers in his hands. He headed straight through the house to the backyard, determined to get straight to work.

"Mother, look at what I—Mum? What happened?"

He dropped the flowers as he took in the scene before him. The small square of backyard was no longer bursting with colour. Instead, everything was blackened with wafts of smoke still floating into the air.

It became difficult for him to calm his breathing as he took in the scene, his fists curling by his sides. His mother let out a sob and he turned towards her. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks, highlighting the bruises already forming around her left eye. There was no smile on her face as she stared at the burnt remains of their garden.

"How could he do this?" Severus asked, trembling with anger.

His mother shook her head. "He didn't."

"He can't get away—"

"I did."

Severus froze; surely, he had heard wrong. Why would she destroy what they had built?

Her face was emotionless as she turned to him and shrugged. He could see that the skin underneath her dress sleeves was also slightly discoloured. The circles underneath her eyes were darker, giving the appearance of someone who almost looked defeated.

His confusion grew as she sighed. "I realised that I was wrong and your father was right: there is no beauty in this world."

"But you're not! The flowers, they—they help!"

Her thin lips formed a small smile, but it looked pitying. Sniffing, she turned back to the house. "You'll understand one day, Severus," she said.

Severus found his eyes begin to water as she walked back into the house, the absence of his nickname noticed. What had happened that hadn't already before to change her mind? How could she give up? Why did she fill him with such false hope?

More importantly, if the flowers truly didn't work, then what was he supposed to do now?


End file.
